How Do You Define Affection?

Do you know what you mean by affection? Mostly likely you do, but do you know what she/he means by affection? Believe it or not, it might not be exactly the same!

Conversations like this are important because we don’t all look at things in exactly the same way. Our temperaments, experiences, and other factors affect how we look at concepts like affection and even how we, personally, define words.


How Do You Define Affection?

So here’s the question: How do you define affection?

To help you each understand how you, personally, understand affection, grab a couple of sheets of paper and each write down your answers to these questions. Shhh! Do it quietly, so you don’t influence each other!

Hint: If Virtuous Weddings is totally your thing, subscribe below to get access to the VIP Resource Library which includes a printable worksheet for this word. Check your email for the Resource Library password and a direct link to the “How Do You Define” printables.


Answer based on your feelings, not just logic, dictionary definitions, or what you think it should be.

Most arguments, disagreements, hurts, and misunderstandings in marriage are based largely on feelings so don’t gloss over them here, in favor of something that seems more “correct.”

However, also be sure to get your philosophy ~ your principles, values, and ideas ~ in there. Your true inner beliefs, not what someone else said, because that’s what’s going to come out in everyday life, especially when there is conflict. If you need to change your understanding of affection, that can come later. Right now you need to understand yourself so that you can then try to understand each other. This is what affection means to you at a very REAL level. 

The Questions

What is affection? Use other words (or phrases, if you prefer) to explain affection.
What are the first things you think of when you think of affection? What does affection mean to you?

What are the opposites of affection?
What is affection not? What expresses or indicates the absence of affection?

What does affection require? What will make you question the “trueness” of affection
if it’s missing?


What will make you question the “trueness” of affection if it’s present?


What are signs that affection is taking place in a home?


What are signs that affection is not taking place (or is weak) in a home?


Now Talk About How You Define Affection!


When you’re both finished answering the questions, discuss and compare your answers.

How can you communicate with each other more effectively?

How will the way you understand affection affect your lives?

Tip: after you finish your comparison, grab a dictionary and see what that does to you!

The How Do You Define Affection? Worksheet

Did you get the printable? If not, here’s another opportunity!


So . . . how do you define affection? I’d love to know what you learned!

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