How Do You Define Love?

Do you know what you mean by LOVE? Mostly likely you do, but do you know what she/he means by love? Believe it or not, it might not be exactly the same!

Conversations like this are important because we don’t all look at things in exactly the same way. Our temperaments, experiences, and other factors affect how we look at concepts like love and even how we, personally, define words. This may be the case with “love” even more than most other words.


How Do You Define Love?

Love has many uses in the English language. For this exercise, think of love in the context of your marriage, not, say, love for God or love for ice cream. There very well may be some overlap, but stick to the subject at hand. 😉

So here’s the question: How do you define love?

To help you each understand how you, personally, understand love, grab a couple of sheets of paper and each write down your answers to these questions. Shhh! Do it quietly, so you don’t influence each other!

Hint: If Virtuous Weddings is totally your thing, subscribe below to get access to the VIP Resource Library which includes a printable worksheet for this word. Check your email for the Resource Library password and a direct link to the “How Do You Define” printables.


Answer based on your feelings, not just logic, dictionary definitions, or what you think it should be.

Most arguments, disagreements, hurts, and misunderstandings in marriage are based largely on feelings so don’t gloss over them here, in favor of something that seems more “correct.”

However, also be sure to get your philosophy ~ your principles, values, and ideas ~ in there. Your true inner beliefs, not what someone else said, because that’s what’s going to come out in everyday life, especially when there is conflict. If you need to change your understanding of love, that can come later. Right now you need to understand yourself so that you can then try to understand each other. This is what love means to you at a very REAL level. 

The Questions

What is love? Use other words (or phrases, if you prefer) to explain love.
What are the first things you think of when you think of love? What does love mean to you?

What are the opposites of love?
What is love not? What expresses or indicates the absence of love?

What does love require? What will make you question the “trueness” of love
if it’s missing?


What will make you question the “trueness” of love if it’s present?


What are signs that love is taking place in a home?


What are signs that love is not taking place (or is weak) in a home?


Now Talk About How You Define Love!


When you’re both finished answering the questions, discuss and compare your answers.

How can you communicate with each other more effectively?

How will the way you understand love affect your lives?

The How Do You Define Love? Worksheet

Did you get the printable? If not, here’s another opportunity!


So . . . how do you define love? I’d love to know what you learned!

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