Do you know what you mean by modesty? Mostly likely you do, but do you know what she/he means by modesty? Believe it or not, it might not be exactly the same!
Conversations like this are important because we don’t all look at things in exactly the same way. Our temperaments, experiences, and other factors affect how we look at concepts like modesty and even how we, personally, define words.
How Do You Define Modesty?
Modesty has different meanings to different people. Also, when it comes to modesty in dress (which is a big modesty issue), not everyone has exactly the same ideas about what that means.
So here’s the question: How do you define modesty?
To help you each understand how you, personally, understand modesty, grab a couple of sheets of paper and each write down your answers to these questions. Shhh! Do it quietly, so you don’t influence each other!
Hint: If Virtuous Weddings is totally your thing, subscribe below to get access to the VIP Resource Library which includes a printable worksheet for this word. Check your email for the Resource Library password and a direct link to the “How Do You Define” printables.
Answer based on your feelings, not just logic, dictionary definitions, or what you think your answer should be.
Most arguments, disagreements, hurts, and misunderstandings in marriage are based largely on feelings so don’t gloss over them here, in favor of something that seems more “correct.”
However, also be sure to get your philosophy ~ your principles, values, and ideas ~ in there. Your true inner beliefs, not what someone else said, because that’s what’s going to come out in everyday life, especially when there is conflict. If you need to change your understanding of modesty, that can come later. Right now you need to understand yourself so that you can then try to understand each other. This is what modesty means to you at a very REAL level.
What is modesty? Use other words (or phrases, if you prefer) to explain modesty.
What are the first things you think of when you think of modesty? What does modesty mean to you?
What are the opposites of modesty?
What is modesty not? What expresses or indicates the absence of modesty?
What does modesty require? What things will make you question the presence of modesty
if they are missing?
What things will make you question the presence of modesty if they are present?
What are signs that modesty is present in someone’s life?
What are signs that modesty is not taking place (or is weak) in someone’s life?
Who needs to be modest and in what areas of their life do they need to consider modesty?
What does modesty (as well as the lack of modesty) look like in each of those cases?
Now Talk About How You Define Modesty!
When you’re both finished answering the questions, discuss and compare your answers.
How can you communicate with each other more effectively?
How will the way you understand modesty affect your lives? How will it affect your wedding?
Tip: after you finish your comparison, grab a dictionary and see what that does to you!
The How Do You Define Modesty? Worksheet
Did you get the printable? If not, here’s another opportunity!
So . . . how do you define modesty? I’d love to know what you learned!