How Do You Define Submission?

Do you know what you mean by submission? Do you know what she/he means by submission?

I’m pretty sure you’ve heard about submission in relation to marriage. When you’re talking about submission in marriage, it’s important to realize that you both might not mean exactly the same thing by submission. You also might not understand submission in exactly the same way as the author you’re reading or the teacher you’re listening to.

How do you define submission? That will definitely affect how you relate to the concept of submission in marriage (and how you relate to Bible passages like Ephesians 5:22).

Conversations like this are important because we don’t all look at things in exactly the same way. Our temperaments, experiences, and other factors affect how we look at concepts like submission and even how we, personally, define words.

How Do You Define Submission? Worksheet/Activity for Engaged Couples


How Do You Define Submission?

So here’s the question: How do you define submission?

To help you each understand how you, personally, understand submission, grab a couple of sheets of paper and each write down your answers to these questions. Shhh! Do it quietly, so you don’t influence each other!

Hint: If Virtuous Weddings is totally your thing, subscribe below to get access to the VIP Resource Library which includes a printable worksheet for this word. Check your email for the Resource Library password and a direct link to the “How Do You Define” printables.


Answer based on your feelings, not just logic, dictionary definitions, or what you think it should be.

Most arguments, disagreements, hurts, and misunderstandings in marriage are based largely on feelings so don’t gloss over them here, in favor of something that seems more “correct.”

However, also be sure to get your philosophy ~ your principles, values, and ideas ~ in there. Your true inner beliefs, not what someone else said, because that’s what’s going to come out in everyday life, especially when there is conflict. If you need to change your understanding of submission, that can come later. Right now you need to understand yourself so that you can then try to understand each other. This is what submission means to you at a very REAL level. 

The Questions

What is submission? Use other words (or phrases, if you prefer) to explain submission.
What are the first things you think of when you think of submission? What does submission mean to you?

What are the opposites of submission?
What is submission not? What expresses or indicates the absence of submission?

What does submission require? What things will make you question the presence of submission if they are missing?


What things will make you question the presence of submission if they are present?


What are signs that submission is taking place in a home?


What are signs that submission is not taking place (or is weak) in a home?

Who needs to submit and who/what do they need to submit to?

What does submission (and the lack of submission) look like in each of those cases?

Now Talk About How You Define Submission!


When you’re both finished answering the questions, discuss and compare your answers.

How can you communicate with each other more effectively?

How will the way you understand submission affect your lives? How will it affect your marriage? How will it affect how you related to Ephesians 5:22-33?

Tip: after you finish your comparison, grab a dictionary and see what it says!

The How Do You Define Submission? Worksheet

Did you get the printable? If not, here’s another opportunity!


So . . . how do you define submission? I’d love to know what you learned!

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