The Wedding Party: Things to Consider

Although you can certainly get married without a crew, you mostly likely don’t want to (but it’s fine if you do). 

Here are the primary things to consider in this category!


Things to Consider

  • Selecting adult attendants
  • Selecting child attendants
  • The size you want your wedding party to be
  • Asking attendants
  • Responsibilities of attendants
  • Dressing attendants (and who’s going to pay for what they need)
  • Thanking attendants
  • How to treat attendants
  • How to be a good attendant
  • Other jobs for family and friends


The Wedding Party: Things to Consider


Common Types of Attendants

Bridesmaids ~ Female attendants of the bride.

Maid of Honor ~ The chief bridesmaid, usually the closest sister or best friend of the bride. The maid of honor is always unmarried (has never been married before).

Matron of Honor ~ The married equivalent of the maid of honor.

Junior Bridesmaids ~ Girls who are too young to be bridesmaids and too old to be flower girls.

Flower Girls ~ Young girls, old enough to walk but young enough to be considered “little girls,” who during the procession toss flower petals on the aisle in front of the bride (or alternatively, carry a small bouquet or basket of flowers).

Ring Bearer ~ A very young boy who carries the wedding bands to the front of the church during the processional. He may also carry fake rings.

Junior Groomsmen ~ Boys who are too young to be groomsmen and too old to be ring bearers, flower girls escorts, etc. May be chosen to escort junior bridesmaids.

Best man ~ The chief groomsman, usually the closest brother or best friend of the groom.

Groomsmen ~ Male attendants of the groom. They are usually also ushers.

Ushers ~ Men who help seat guests either by escorting them or by showing them to available seats. Ushers are usually the same as groomsmen and the two terms are often used interchangeably.


Other Positions~ Some of Which Must Be Filled, Some of Which are Optional

Guestbook attendant ~ Makes sure guests sign the guest book. Also serves as a greeter. This person should be friendly, outgoing, and cheerful. He or she should also be able to stand up for a long time.

Train bearers ~ boys or girls who carry the bride’s train.

Candle lighters ~ Although the ushers can certainly light the candles, you may choose to have separate candle lighters (it’s a good role for extra brothers, sisters, or cousins that you really want to include but don’t know what to do with).

Bible Bearer ~ a little boy who carries a special Bible to the front on a pillow. The equivalence of a ring bearer for couples who do not have a ring ceremony.

Greeter ~ although the guestbook attendant usually fills this role it may sometimes be helpful to have additional greeters, particularly at a large wedding.

Coordinator ~ Someone to help you with the final ceremony plan (if needed) and to make sure everyone does what they should, when they should, at the ceremony. Especially helpful for coordinating the processional.


Don’t pick your attendants too quickly. Give it some thought. You can’t un-ask!





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