The Who, What, Where, When, and Why of Christian Wedding Showers

Just getting started planning (your first?) wedding shower or having one planned for you? This is a good place to start!

A wedding shower is an opportunity to shower a bride, groom, or couple with gifts and love. Plus, it’s another way to celebrate something happy!

Head’s up! I use the term “wedding shower” as a general term for all wedding-related showers (including bridal showers and groom’s showers) AND also as a more specific term for wedding-related showers that are NOT bridal showers or groom’s showers: that is, showers for a couple or showers for the bride  at which both men and women are present (which is not technically a “bridal shower”), and sometimes for a shower for the groom at which both men and women are present (which is still a “groom’s” shower since groom’s showers are so weird) . I’m using it more in the specific sense here.


The Who, What, Where, When, and Why of Christian Wedding Showers



The Who of Christian Wedding Showers

Who should get a wedding shower? ~ Any couple who’s getting married! If you can’t do it for the couple (because they’re not both in your neck of the woods) you can do one for whoever you’ve got. While it’s intended to be a help to couples who actually NEED help setting up housekeeping (which is most of them!) you can also do a shower for a couple who doesn’t really need anything (you might want to be more creative with a gift theme so what they get is actually useful). 

Who should host? ~ Friends or family but NOT close family (mother, sister, sister-in-law, grandmother of the bride or of the groom) unless it’s a family-only shower.  That is, if you’re a rule-following traditionalist. I think it’s important to consider who is on the guest list and how it will look to them. Mom inviting half the folks on the wedding guest list? Mmmm. Not really a good idea. Grandma inviting all her descendants? That’s a bit different! A church (or a select group of folks suited to the task) could also host a Christian wedding shower.

Who should be invited? ~ Both men and women who are close to the guest or guests of honor, or those in the hosts’ circle of friends (I really don’t think it’s necessary for a host to invite complete strangers but if it’s the only shower the couple will have, that is certainly okay). Only those who will be invited to the wedding should be included on a shower guest list (unless it is a special shower by those who know they won’t be invited~ such as a group of college friends). Finally, find out what (and who) the guest or guests of honor  would like best!


The What of Christian Wedding Showers

What style should the shower be? ~ Whatever the guest of honor prefers. It might be casual, informal, semi-formal, or even formal. If you are thinking about semi-formal or formal, make sure your guests and guest-of-honor will feel comfortable in such a setting.

What theme should the shower have? ~ Just about anything! It could be something as simple as a generic shower in the wedding colors (or a spin-off of them) or a basic household or kitchen shower.  A gift theme might help guests decide what to buy. A theme related to the couple’s needs or  interests would be appropriate (and fun!) but it’s not necessary. It’s okay to keep it simple and basic. 

What decorations does a wedding shower have? ~ Whatever goes with the theme, suits the location, and is compatible with the hostesses’ budget. Again, it’s okay to keep it simple. Keep in mind that, at the very least, you’ll need a nice place for the gifts and for the food.

Use a garden, or use a nice room and add a bouquet of flowers. Or go beyond that with streamers, balloons, and more! If you’re doing a special theme then, of course, you’ll want at least some decorations to go along with the theme.

What should we do at the shower? ~ Socialize, eat, open gifts, and admire with gifts. That’s all that is required! You can also play games or have other activities. Most showers do include games. You do not have to be silly (just sayin’!). You really can’t have a Christian wedding shower without prayer. While that might just be asking a blessing on the food, I think it’s a great idea to have more: a special prayer for the couple. You could also do something like a devotional.

What food should I serve? ~ You’ll want it to fit the time, theme, style, and location of the shower, as well as the preferences of the guest of honor and the capabilities of the hostess. Finger foods are common but the possibilities are endless.

What should guests give as gifts? ~ Unless the shower has a special gift-related theme, general household stuff is most appropriate.  This is probably what guests will bring if they aren’t instructed otherwise. If the couple is registered anywhere, the hosts should let the guests know.


The Where of Christian Wedding Showers

Where should the shower be held? ~ Oh, there are lots of possibilities. It depends on the formality (style) and the number of guests. And the budget. Or those things might depend on the location! Here are some ideas:

  • A church fellowship hall
  • A park
  • A back yard
  • The hosts’ home
  • A restaurant


The When of Christian Wedding Showers

When, in relation to the wedding, should a shower be held? ~ Ask the bride when it would be the most convenient. It should most likely be at least two weeks before the wedding but not more than a month or two  before (although there are exceptions). The wedding guest list (or at least part of it) will have to be established before the shower. Always consult the bride (and/or her mom) about the guest list before your even hint at invites!

What day and time should it be? ~ A weekend shower will probably work the best for most people’s schedules. The time of day has an effect on the style and vice versa (who has a sit-down dinner at 3:00 PM?) but other than that, any time of day can potentially work. Keep in mind that most people probably wouldn’t enjoy having their meals completely screwed up so try to be kind of normal with meal times.


The Why of Christian Wedding Showers

Why a wedding shower? ~ Several reasons. Because you love your people! Because parties are fun! Because brides and grooms need stuff! A wedding shower showers a couple with things they need to set up housekeeping and make a home, as well as love and affection.

As Christians, we help each other and support each other. We do it with happy occasions, like weddings. We do it when times are hard.  As Christians, we can also demonstrate the value and sanctity of marriage by giving it the attention it deserves. The world parties over the strangest things sometimes. But this is something we can do in a very godly way, if we choose to!


Do you have any other “who, what, where, when, and why” questions about Christian wedding showers?








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